October is one of my favorite months- deadening December and January with its burned-red withering, silences of early morning, scarved crowds in evening. The landscape opens up again, fallen leaves covering the ground and not my sky. I can’t wait for the cold outside. Some of you may remember how last year’s October ended in personal freedom and emotional upheaval; while this year is not nearly so dramatic, it’s just as powerful.
If you hadn’t heard already, I’m on my way to Russia. I’ll be departing Fargo mid-December. Life is going to change a lot in the near near future and I may never come back, by choice or by accident. If I haven’t seen you in years, get in touch with me, if possible, and if not, by chance or by death, I miss you. We should catch up. I’ve emailed some of you, asked around for some of your numbers — hoping to catch a glimpse of where you’ve gone while I’ve been getting ready to go. Of course, I won’t have a lot of time, and I may not have the same free days that you do, so… long.
I spend as much time alone as possible. Most of my happiness comes from self-satisfaction and creative activity, whether art, music, or cooking. Instead of buying some new bauble or babbling with friends, celebrate how alone you are. Take an afternoon with the window cracked, bread in the oven, and some coffee or tea with honey. Read something that takes all the concentration you’re not sparing on sipping, savoring. Love yourself and know you’re the only one who can do that for as long as you live.